Thursday, September 2, 2010

Thoughts on Korean/Puerto Rican fusion cuisine.

If you’re wondering whether or not to order the Togarashi Fries with curry mayonnaise at Belly Shack, please refer to this animated gif.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Why I prefer Oreos.

Cut me some slack, fortune cookie. I’m doing the best I can.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Bye bye, birdie.

When I got home from work today, I found a little baby robin all by itself in the driveway. It had all its feathers, but it couldn’t fly. It just hopped away as I walked towards it. It flapped it’s wings a few times as it wandered into the front yard, but you could tell it had no idea what it was doing. It stood in the grass chirping its little heart out. It was the most adorably sad thing you’d ever see.

I felt pretty bad for it, but what could I do? I figured iPhone would know. A quick search and I found out the best thing to do was to leave the baby bird where it was and hopefully the mother would hear its chirps and care for it from the ground. I just needed to make sure the bird was in some brush or shrubs so it wouldn’t be visible to any passing neighborhood cats. I hadn’t noticed any cats in the neighborhood for years, so I figured the little guy would be safe where he was, two feet away from some thick underbrush. That way mommy robin would be able to see it but still be close enough to a good hiding spot for the chick to jump in.

I was curious to see if its mom would come and get it, so I hung around outside for a little bit. I picked some mulberries from the neighbor’s tree while I waited to see what would happen. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a bird fly down towards the little chick.

Too bad it was a hawk.

It scooped up the baby bird in its talons and flew off, the chick’s chirps fading away in the distance.

It might as well have flown off with my heart.

You know, nature, you sure do suck sometimes.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Office orientation.

I just overheard my coworker over the cubicle wall say, “I can’t believe that every guy in our department is gay, except for Brian!”

I’m in her department.

I thought that when I stopped wearing turtlenecks, stuff like this wouldn’t happen anymore.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

With deepest regret, congratulations.

It’s pretty fun buying sympathy cards and trying to use them for completely different occasions. It can be a bit of a challenge, but if you look hard enough, you can probably find one ambiguous enough to suit your situation instead of having to do with a dead guy.

The one I found for Peter I thought worked perfectly. Well, almost perfectly.

Monday, June 7, 2010

There’s always room for Gel-O.

I bought a different hair gel than usual over the weekend because it was on clearance. When I opened it up this morning, I found that it had the smell and consistency of Jell-O. I started to worry that someone may have bought the jar, used the gel, refilled it with fruity gelatin and returned it to the store.

There weren’t any chunks of fruit in it, so I went ahead and rubbed in. Now I’m at work and it’s all I can smell and I’m dying to lick my own head.

Luckily, I’m not that flexible or this would end up as weird as that time I used almond-scented hand lotion.